I’m a christian.

Darren Andrew Fielding
4 min readFeb 8, 2022

Not in the ways that the society has come to learn, (well hopefully not. I’m doing my best to not be.) Not in the bigoted, self-involved, judgemental, lord it over you (see what I did there.) kind of way.

Felix Culpa (a fortunate fall) Artwork by Author.

The above artwork is inspired by the song of the same name by Kings Kaleidoscope. A Melodies of Grace post will be following within the next few fridays. Stay tuned for that.

I am a christian in that I believe Jesus is God, I believe that He is the saviour of my soul and provider for my life.

My heart aches when I look across humanity and see all the hurt that people have inflicted under the banner of ‘christian’. It pains me deeply to have christian brothers and sisters that almost seem to take pride in judging others and throwing others to the wayside. I am filled with tears for all of humanity when I think about the version of Christ they have been presented by some flawed, failing human.

In the beginning of my relationship with Christ it wasn’t much of relationship with Him but more a relationship through my friends. I had a vicarious relationship, and I was the christian that angers me and torments my thoughts now. I did not truly care for most people expect myself and I judged classmates and friends and people because that seemed like the only way I could make myself feel and seem better at life than others. You see, I believed that being a christian meant that I need to show that I have this life thing all figured out and that I know right from wrong, that I am good not bad. Judging others seemed like a pretty good way of showing people “look, I know where the line is, and you’ve crossed it not me.”

Eventually I was caught by God and He showed me that I need to pursue my own personal relationship with Him.

I think those are probably the greatest words to be undersold, underemphasized and misunderstood in all of christianity. My ‘christianity’ was not about how I’m doing compared to others. It was not about ‘me’ in a lot of ways but it was about ‘ME’ in all the ways. I’m not sure if that makes sense but thats really the only way I can say that. My relationship with Christ was a personal intimate thing that I had neglected and discarded to a dark corner of the bedroom.

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Darren Andrew Fielding

Believer. Husband. Creative. Photographer. Musician. Poet. Hoper. Writer. Encourager. South African. Human. Crypto Enthusiast.